The freeze is on

It's not easy following up a record-setting season that seemed to consist of a never-ending clown car of blizzards and cold weather. Much to my dismay, however, this winter is certainly holding its own.

Sub-zero temperatures. Snow falling more rapidly than Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich's political career. Snow drifts thicker than, well, than Blagojevich's hair (by the way, of all things, why are people so critical of Blago's hair? He has bleeping golden hair! Truthfully, I'd pay a lot of money for hair like that. I probably could pay a lot of money for that hair. Call me, Rod!).

I had hopes that this winter would be a kinder, gentler one. Yet here I sit, with my hot notebook computer on my lap, the fireplace running, and I'm still shaking like a wet dog in Siberia.

At least it has warmed up to a balmy 9 degrees as I'm writing this. That's hovering right around Dick Cheney approval rating levels. Two weeks ago, it was about 40 degrees below zero. Unfortunately, must not have heard how cold it was, because we were expected to report to work as usual. So I layered up and headed outside. I passed a polar bear on the way to my car, who remarked "this is too much, I'm out of here." My car sounded like it was built with Legos as it crept to work, cracking and creaking the whole way.

Possibly more astounding than the frigid temperatures is the behavior some people exhibit in said temperatures. One day while driving, on a single-digit day, I saw a older fellow jogging down the sidewalk like it was a beautiful spring day. I like jogging as much as the next guy, and I have respect for his commitment to fitness despite the elements. But come on, what are we trying to prove here. It's dangerous to even look out the window on most winter days, let alone go jogging outdoors.

A driver in a vehicle in the oncoming lane spotted the same jogger. I had to agree with the look on her face that combined shock and anger. It reminded me of when I used to go canvassing door to door during the caucuses last winter as a organizer for the Hillary Clinton campaign. On especially nasty days, people would look at us not so much with pity, but with anger that someone would voluntarily be outside. I feared someone might throw chicken soup in my face at some point (actually, it probably would have felt pretty good).

Hopefully, relief is on the way. My brother the meteorologist tells me that temperatures in the 40s are on the way next week. Finally! I was worried I would be in my 40s before the temperatures got that high again.

But who are we kidding? Even if it does get that less cold (I can't say "that warm" because 40 is not really warm), I'll still be chilled. I must have poor circulation, or be very susceptible to cold weather, or both (editor's note: or just a really big baby). But if I can hook up with Blagojevich, at least I'll have the hair. You'll take a two-party, out of state check, right, governor?